trying to make a difference

This was a busy yet disappointing week at work.   I am trying to hard to focus on the real issues and build confidence among the staff.   They have such a strong past and recent history that I just can’t overcome since I had nothing to do with the past.   I try so hard to be positive and assure each of them that they should be proud and that we will make it through this but we have to find it in our hearts to put the past behind and move forward.   My goals and plans for this cardiac program will not work unless they become a positive source of strength among themselves.   All I hear all day every day is how unhappy they are, the are defeated and just don’t want to do anything above and beyond.   Very defeatist attitudes and that is frustrating.   Am I not doing enough?   Am I not focused on the real issues.    I’ve only been here for a little under three weeks and feel that I have accomplished a lot from my perspective to make things better in the short term.    I am the first one into work to make sure everything is up and running.   I am available all day at any time to listen to the many complaints and venting.   I am working on 202 things at the same time so that they can be more comfortable with the work environment.  Most of them don’t trust each other and that is sad.   I have crossed some major hurdles during my short stay so far and I am happy with that but the staff get so caught up with the negative past that they fail to see the benefits of those changes.    I don’t sleep much due to my thoughts being with the hospital and how I can make it better.   I don’t eat because my mind and body are so consumed with passion for this cath lab.   My headaches are a little worse but I don’t complain much about them.   I just want to make a positive difference and hope they will appreciate that in the end.   I can’t fix it all without their help and we can only work on one thing at a time.   So many issues….so little time.   Well, enough for now.