MY birthday

One more day and I will be the big 43.   Whatever that means.    I don’t really feel old but I sometimes wonder what I have done with my life in the past 43 years.   Am I where I want to be?   Should I pursue more?   I have always had the feeling that I am suppose to do something more and that I am truly here to make a bigger difference than I have but I just can’t figure it out.     Who knows.   Maybe I am just nuts and need to admit myself into a “crazy house”.   Ha ha.

Holidays

Well, it's Christmas time again and I am so lonely. People that I thought I could trust have become distant and unavailable to talk. So many people say that they are your friend but when it gets down to the "nitty gritty" they only care about themselves and could care less about you. I have worked with many people over the past year and dedicated all of my energy and time to helping improve their quality of life and once I move away from those areas, nothing. What happened? What did I do? Why are people so selfish? My life is about as lonely as it gets and it is getting so hard to find the energy to wake up every morning and be the "strong" person in other peoples lives. I feel as though I give so much to my career and life with almost nothing in return. All I ask for is honesty and loyalty and friendship. True friends are so hard to come by. They will say..."oh we love you"...."oh we are here for you"..........but.........where are they now? OK. Enough for now. I have to vent so I will vent online.