MY birthday

One more day and I will be the big 43.   Whatever that means.    I don’t really feel old but I sometimes wonder what I have done with my life in the past 43 years.   Am I where I want to be?   Should I pursue more?   I have always had the feeling that I am suppose to do something more and that I am truly here to make a bigger difference than I have but I just can’t figure it out.     Who knows.   Maybe I am just nuts and need to admit myself into a “crazy house”.   Ha ha.

Holidays

Well, it's Christmas time again and I am so lonely. People that I thought I could trust have become distant and unavailable to talk. So many people say that they are your friend but when it gets down to the "nitty gritty" they only care about themselves and could care less about you. I have worked with many people over the past year and dedicated all of my energy and time to helping improve their quality of life and once I move away from those areas, nothing. What happened? What did I do? Why are people so selfish? My life is about as lonely as it gets and it is getting so hard to find the energy to wake up every morning and be the "strong" person in other peoples lives. I feel as though I give so much to my career and life with almost nothing in return. All I ask for is honesty and loyalty and friendship. True friends are so hard to come by. They will say..."oh we love you"...."oh we are here for you"..........but.........where are they now? OK. Enough for now. I have to vent so I will vent online.

Thanksgiving weekend

Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving 2009,Dansworld

Well,    I was home Thursday alone and relaxing.   Got up and started repairs on my leaky sunroof in my shower.   The started to work on a leak under my bathroom sink.    Today is Saturday and I am just finishing the repairs.   These are the first two issues with my new RV home.  

Can’t sleep

Haven’t been able to sleep tonight.    A lot on my mind.   It’s thanksgiving and I’m alone once again.  Just my usual cornish hen, some potatoes, wine, and a stack of movies to watch.   I will probably be doing some RV maintenance as well today since the weather is suppose to be a little nicer than the past few days.

My girls

The happiest part of my life and the thing I am most proud of are my three girls.    They are beautiful and have truly done great with all of the struggles they have had to endure throughout their little lives.     I love them dearly.

Friends

This time of year is so hard for me…..My mom is not here…….the friends I’ve grown up with are gone……the people in my life that I thought I could trust have made themselves unavailable……people that say they are your friends have no time for even an email….it’s OK to be alone but its heartbreaking to be lonely. 

Girls surprise

Well, I am working on a surprise for my girls in Arizona.   It will be fun and quite unexpected for them.   I am so sneaky and love my girls even if they are growing up too fast and like “boys”.    I have told them that “boys'” have germs and cooties and they just won’t listen.   All I say and will ever say to the men in my girls lives is…….”I have a gun and a shovel”    hee hee

Columbia county fair

I was going to go to the fair today but decided to stay close to home.   The weather was great today.    I had a great workout at the gym and took a nice little drive.  Now I’m home watching movies and trying to relax my sore shoulder.   Ouch.

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